My Heart is FULL!

Family! Hi! :)

This was a special week. We were busy tracting and serving and finding! I am learning some Chinese so I can do a door approach. We find a lot of Chinese people! We are healthy and happy and time is flying! The Visitors Center is busy as ever! We only have 9 hours in our area this week so we are going to use it wisely! I finished the Book of Mormon. Its still true in case you were wondering.

My heart is so full. I had a sacred experience that changed everything. It strengthened my faith, testimony, dedication, and commitment. I would love to share this with you. We had a last minute random zone meeting. Everyone was acting so weird and intense about it so i was really curious as to waht was going on and what it was going to be about. President Frandsen walked in. The zone leaders were so serious. We sang, "In Fasting We Approach Thee," because we all strated a mission fast at 6 and they were about to tell us what this fast was all about. We need193 baptisms in about 5 months. They told us that the purpose of the fast is that

every companionship will have a baptismal date by the end of the month.

My heart started racing. I was trembling. Sweating. Then came the tears. My mind was overcome with powerful thoughts of DOUBT & FEAR. I was so scared, worried, nervous, anxious. Thoughts like:

You cant do it

You will be the only companionship that doesnt have one

You dont even have an investigator

I dont have enough faith

I really dont have enough faith

I am so scared

I dont have the faith

These thoughts bombarded my mind!!!! at 100 mph! My heart was literally racing. They let us break off on our own to "commit to the Lord." I knelt down after scribbling my thoughts onto paper. I couldnt pray. I couldnt commit! I knew it was the adversary. He didnt want me to pray!!! He didnt want me to have faith and commit! I just knelt there crying. I felt that my tongue was bound with FEAR. I finally began to pray.

All of the sudden, I was calm. The tears stopped. My heart slowed. My mind was clear. A few thoughts came to my mind and heart. Mainly of peace. Bu tI knew that He was there, that He was going to help me achieve this goal, that I could in reality do it and that ANYTHING is possible with Him. This scripture came to my mind.

"And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led."

1 Nephi 17:13

I knew in that moment that those thoughts and feelings were from the adversary - making me doubt myself and the Lord! He didnt want me to have faith and commit because he wants me to fail. But I overcame Him. Once my prayer started, which took a TON of faith holy cow. It took everything within me. I was SO scared. But, I was filled with peace that I knew was from my Father in Heaven. I committed to the Lord!! I dont want to compare myself to Joseph Smith in any way, shape, or form, but this experience reminded me a lot of His.

Heavenly Father answered my prayer!!! I have not had an experience like this in a very long time. I thanked Him. We all returned to our seats and the Spirit was SO strong. The zone leaders said they felt inspired to have 4 of us come up and share some thoughts and bear testimony. They read my name. I was hesitant to share my powerful experience, but my heart started racing with the Spirit telling me to share it! I felt like I should. I got up there when it was my turn and told of my experience that had just happened moments earlier through my tears. I felt the Spirit so strong, one of the strongest on my mission. 12 missionaries in the same room just communing and dedicating to the Lord in fast for a miracle!!!! These are the experiences of a life time!!! What a powerful and beautiful experience. We all knelt in the prayer together at the very end.

This is HUGE for the mission. This changes everything. I just want to write all day. I know we can reach our goal. Especially this new goal for the month. I am committed. I have a lot to change and work on! This is not going to be easy! I am so grateful for this sweet experience. I know that God lives. I know He loves us and answers our prayers. I also know the adversary is REAL and is in full combat against us. He wants us to fail with everything he has, so much so that he will bind our tongues! He knows we can perform miracles and he wants to stop us. I know the power of prayer and the power of peace. I know the power of the Spirit. I am so grateful to be a missionary in THIS month at THIS sacred time in THIS sacred mission. My heart is full! 400!

I love you & miss you dearly.

Love
Sister Emma Brinton :)